Tom Cruise may still be too young to portray Michael Corleone in a remake of the Godfather, but that's not stopping him from accepting the role of a lifetime.
ShowbizSpy.com reports that Tom Cruise has agreed to be the godfather of J-Lo and Marc Anthony's newborn twins. You can argue that you won't read a stranger sentence than that last one all year.
You may recall that I thoroughly investigated the role of godfather last year, and according to the Church, Tom seems to fail the Godfather Acceptance Exam: In order to be a sponsor, the person must be: (1) baptized, (2) completed 16th year, and (3) a Catholic who has received the sacraments of Holy Eucharist and Confirmation, and leads a "life in harmony with the faith and role to be undertaken." A sponsor shall be disqualified if the (4) chosen does not practice the faith by regularly attending Mass or is (5) Antagonistic to the faith - has attitude "I am a Catholic, but..."
That's a 1 out of 5 for Tom on the test, which incidentally is his box office success rate these days. Ever the compromiser, Jennifer Lopez insisted and ultimately over-ruled husband Marc's objections to having Tom be the godfather, despite the fact that both she and hubby are Catholic.
Forget the Scientologist as Godfather debate for a minute, the role of Godfather has devolved from a spiritual guidance job in mainstream America any way. My godfather test has two questions on it. This is the criteria by which Tom should be judged and the reasons by which Marc should be upset:
1. Will you send my kids $50 each on their birthday and key milestone events like graduation? This is the bear minimum you are committing to as a godfather. Extreme wealth aside, doesn't Tom Cruise seem like the kind of godfather who would give his godchildren socks? Or would give a waitress an autographed Color of Money headshot instead of a big tip? That's not the kind of a guy I want hanging around my kids.
2. Will you do anything in public that will get my kid made fun or, or otherwise make him scared to be in your presence? Let's look at his overall level of sanity. He jumps on Oprah's couch and left Nicole Kidman. That's more than just poor manners; that's two strikes against him on this test. As soon as he or she is old enough to have friends over the house, you know one of them will start with the teasing and jumping on the couch, saying, "Look how high I can get? Seriously, look how high". Who needs that?
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