The Case Against Expansion

I have been eating pizza since I was old enough to chew. Dominos. Pizza Hut. $1.25 slice at the bowling alley. Elios. Mama Celeste. I enjoyed all of it. However, growing up as a kid, I always remember the trip to the "Original House of Pizza" in Pennsauken, NJ with my grandfather as a very special treat. Not only was the pizza crispy (the way I like it), it also felt like a pilgrimage reserved for people who were very serious about their pizza pie (the "Original" house).

I don't think I have to tell you how disappointed I was when I saw another "Original House of Pizza" when I moved to a new town as an eight year-old. It was around this time that I also found out Santa wasn't real. Tough year.

When I first moved to Boston, I frequently ate at Boston House of Pizza in Brighton. I settled for their greasy slices in the name of convenience. In addition to the regular side dishes - fries, salad, wings - they also tried to get you to rent DVDs along with your pizza order. BHOP of Brighton, you've done it! You've found the gap in the carryout dinner and movie marketplace. There's no way that Netflix can also deliver a hot pizza to my mailbox just as Papa John will be equally hapless in maintaining a satisfactory "new releases" selection.

Last week, I ate at Jamaica Plain House of Pizza on Centre Street. It was my first dining experience and I was beside myself that they didn't offer pizza by the slice. Instead, they serve small, personal pizzas that resemble a breadbowl of grease.

So this is what the vaunted House of Pizza empire has come to?

As I walked out of the JPHOP and reflected on all of the House of Pizza places I have ever frequented, it got me thinking - who really is the original? Who's idea was it to first make pizza under the "House of" franchise? And why didn't he do more to ensure the successful national expansion of his pizza business?

Turns out that no one is quick to call itself the first House of Pizza in the country. There are, however, many confusing iterations: Original House of Pizza (more than 200), houseofpizza.com (the website is owned by the Millersville, PA restaurant founded in 1968), Original Haus of Pizza (founded by a german restauranteur in Long Beach in 1974), and Cappy's House of Pizza (Plymouth, MA; who knows, maybe a guy named Cappy actually started this whole trend.)

After a very thorough google search, it looks like the very first one is, fittingly, House of Pizza Number One - aka Kukar's House of Pizza founded in 1950 by George Wilfred Kukar, the "pizza pied piper" of San Jose. This nostalgic quote sums up the HOP #1 experience - "My dad used to take the family to house of pizza in the original building as a treat on Sundays! Some 40 years ago! It is still the all time best pizza I have ever had!"

What would Kukar think if he visited BHOP or Cappy's? I'm not sure, but it's a good cover story for PizzaToday.com, the bible of the industry, to pursue. If you are going to have the guts to bring your shop under the 'House' name, you are declaring that your pizza is the best in town. Just like buildings to meet certain criteria to become LEED certified for environmental efficiency, a House of Pizza place should hit certain benchmarks to become HOUSE certified:

1) Pizza is good. This seems obvious but I don't think there is another business in this country where your core product can be terrible and customers will still support you. Dough, sauce, cheese, bake. Experiment until you get it right. When I eat a bad slice of pizza, I'm reminded of professional basketball players who shoot less than 80% from the free throw line. This is your job, how are you not good at it?

 Learn from Scott Howard in Teenwolf (and you know the Beavers went out for pizza after the championship game)



2) The Big 4 are scared to do business anywhere near your 'House'. If your 'House' has a reputation for good pizza, you can be sure the new site development folks for Papa John will be taking note. While there are more than 65,000 pizza restaurants across the country, PizzaToday.com reports the top 4 companies (Hut, Dominos, papa john, and Little Caesars) control approximately 26,000 units and generate almost $17B in annual revenue (out of an industry total of $37B). Conglomerates are very American but so is cheering for the little guy and honoring tradition.



3) Your pizza by the slice is $1.50. That's it. It just stays at $1.50 for at least 12 years. Until it goes up to $1.75. Somehow Starbucks has affected the pizza industry and ushered in the era of $3/slice pizza. Another reason not to like them.

4) Your place is spotless. Every neighborhood pizza place is pretty disgusting and you expect to find a fire extinguisher in the men's room urinals (happen to me in Philly all the time). That's just unacceptable for House of Pizza. A good 'House' should always be in order and ready to welcome a Marine in full uniform.

5) Offer the complete selection of all dark sodas: coke/pepsi, root beer, dr. pepper, birch beer. It might be the best food/beverage combination of all-time; Pinot Noir 1998 and Steak Diane be damned.

6) Have a signed photo of Frank Sinatra with the owner hanging on a wall. Frank loved pizza and if Frank ate a slice at your place that is like a gold seal of approval. Acquiring a signed Frank is like attaining a liquor license - they don't issue them anymore so your place better have a revenue plan that will allow you pay through the nose to display an original.