The first thing I noticed when Tiger Woods stepped from behind the blue curtain at PGA Headquarters on Friday morning, to make his first public address in more than two months, was "He's not wearing a tie." I have had an appreciation for the tie since I spent 4 straight hours teaching myself how to tie a perfect double windsor knot from a "How to Tie a Tie" pamphlet back in freshman year of high school. (Yes, that's a true story. And I still have that pamphlet.) However, I have yet to read a pamphlet, manual or bumper sticker that instructs a man when to wear a tie and when to go more casual with an open button. Why exactly don't they teach these things in school?I've lived by one credo in my life - "If wearing a Sports or Suit Jacket always put a tie in the pocket just in case." However, whenever faced with a confidence in credo problem (as Tiger has these past few months), it helps to have some rules of thumb in place.
Wear a tie:
Weddings and Funerals: I'm pretty sure ties were invented for such occasions, and only worn for these occasions, until Brooks Brothers came on the scene and made it into a multi-billion dollar business.
Baptisms, Confirmations and prominent Church-related activities: Most children involved in prominent Church-related activities are wearing some kind of a special robe. Rule of life - don't ever let an infant or kid outdress you in Church. Wear a tie.
Board Room Presentation: If for no other than reason than you will want to take the edge off when you finish your presentation, and what's the most natural way to take the edge off? Loosening a tie. Drink always come second. Don't skip steps.
Job Interview: You want your interviewer to think "Hey, you know, you really wore that tie because of social convention and professional standards, but I kinda feel like you wore it for me and I appreciate it."
Meeting the President of the United States, First Lady, Queen of England, Head of State, etc: When leaving an impression on royalty or high-powered people, you always have a better chance of being remembered if you wear a sharp-looking tie. Skinny white guys can't rely on looks alone to leave an impression. Hypothetically, if I met the First Lady and her Chief of Staff at an event, do I stand a better chance of being remembered with tie or no tie? Let's break that down using the following hypothetical exchange:
Scenario 1: No tie
First Lady Chief of Staff: Did you meet Sean?
First Lady: Who? Not that skinny guy eating all of the shrimp?
Scenario 2: Tie
First Lady Chief of Staff: Did you meet Sean?
First Lady: Oh, the guy in the light blue tie with red starbursts? What a handsome young man.
Don't Wear a tie:
Public Apology about your Mistresses: I think no tie was a good call for Tiger. As mentioned above, a tie reminds people of weddings and religious activities (tie would have only equaled bad irony for Tiger), and doesn't convey the kind humbleness you want in a public apology about mistresses. In fact going one step further, Tiger even made the right button choice. If he goes open collar and leaves the top button unbottoned, he doesn't come across solemn enough. That apology could only have been delivered with no tie and top button closed down.
Meeting a member of the Presidential Cabinet or Deputy Administration staff: if Cabinet members or deputy staff worked a little harder in life, they could have been President. Same goes for my wardrobe - could have worked a little harder but I'm a little more comfortable breathing this way.
Meeting the Parents of a significant other for the first time: Ask yourself this question, if you are going to a place where it's expected that you wear a tie and, at this place, you will be meeting the parents of a significant other for the first time, are you really set up for success? I say no. Do a pre-emptive invite for casual dinner the night before (if tie-mandatory venue is in the morning) or breakfast (if in the afternoon/evening). If unavoidable, well, you better wear that tie. See rules for Wedding, Funerals, Church-related activities, Job Interviews and meeting royalty.
